• October 6, 2021


One of the most common and biggest hindrances to living in confidence and authentically is living in denial. When one lives in denial, it is easy to believe that one does not have a problem. In this state of denial, there is a tendency to wallow in self-defeating beliefs that prevent one from living their best life or prevent one from taking tangible action towards achieving their goals. I have experienced this first-hand. I had a problem; then I did not think it was much of a problem. Sadly, I lived in denial for five years. My life was spiraling out of control. In those five years, I experienced depression and did not even know I was depressed.

The danger in living in denial is that we put on different masks that make us feel we are still in control, but this is far from the truth. Below are some symptoms that are evident when we are living in denial.

• We try to control our image by wearing masks – playing games and hiding the truth about ourselves. Behind the pictures that are put up on social media handles; underneath the ‘everything is great’ responses and fake smiles we project are shades of images that look like us but do not reflect who we truly are.

• We try to control people by manipulating them through guilt, shame, praise and even through silence.

• We try to control our problems by saying things such as I can handle it; it’s not a problem. I do not need any help. I can quit anytime.

• We try to control our pain by avoiding it, denying it, escaping it, medicating it, drowning it, or postponing it.


Unfortunately, living in this way is exhausting and denies us the true growth that comes from living authentically.


For further reading please see these resources:
Invisible No More by Dorothy Attema (

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